im drinking this country out of the recession.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
