You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
