That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
