Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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