I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
