Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
