I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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