sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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