just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
