Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
