just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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