Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Found your dick twin last night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
