I am puke
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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