all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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