ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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