He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
