I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
