Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize