He disabled his match.com account in front of me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
