Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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