Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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