Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
