She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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