brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
