Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
