i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
