I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
