He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
