It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
