I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You've changed since you got that strap on
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize