I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
