When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i out mim tonsoeep
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