you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
