is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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