Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
