I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
