how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
