I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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