did you get engaged???
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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