he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
