We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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