so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
