we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
