Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we made out on top of his cat.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
