what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
