I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
