I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have already put on my inside pants.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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