put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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