I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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