Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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