Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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