Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How external is "for external use only"?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
