I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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