I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
