PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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