She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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